Category Archives: Personal growth

3 steps to get something done

Posted on by

I have not posted in awhile and I am not going to tell you why (read: make excuses).

The fact is I’ve come up against a wall. It has many names: procrastination, laziness, perfection. I have tens of ideas I want to share here but have not posted a single one lately. My time manages to fill itself. No matter how many hours of activity I cut out, I still find my days full with no spare time for writing.

I’ve struggled to take action, and weeks have suddenly gone by.

No more!

I will write and publish today. It isn’t one of the many topics I’ve made a note to write about, or have begun and let simmer in the drafts folder. It’s about getting the work started and getting it finished. We can want to do something, have super strategies for getting it done, be all fired up and motivated. But there is no end result to present because we don’t start and/or we don’t finish.

So. How to get your task done in 3 easy steps.

I know, I’m so cheeky saying, “Just start.” But it’s as simple as that. Put your phone down, turn off youtube, stop mucking with housework, whatever. Get down to something productive.

  1. Start. Carve 5-15 minutes out of your schedule and dedicate them to this task. You’ve heard this before: You need to make time, otherwise your day will fill up with activity all on its own. Work for 15 minutes on your task. Doesn’t have to be perfect, doesn’t have to be presentable, just needs needs to be a start.
  2. Continue. Set aside another 15 minutes the same day or the next day and work on your task. Don’t wait longer than a week! It’s too easy to devalue what we really want to do if a lot of time goes by. Break down your big project and work on pieces of it as mini-projects.
  3. Finish. Unless you’re performing surgery, good enough is okay. Go ahead and hit publish, hang your painting on the wall, sing your song at the recital, run your clunky code, dance your awkward but happy dance. Celebrate the accomplishment! Practice makes better, so now go back to step 1 for the next project.
Email

Getting work done

Posted on by

I am reading “The 4-Hour Workweek*” by Timothy Ferriss and I’m struck by a new way to work.

As a teenager I wasn’t allowed to go out on Saturdays until I had vacuumed the house. I lost many Saturdays, doing all I could to avoid doing the work. In college I stopped being lazy and started knuckling down and completing work. But (believe it or not) doing dishes sometimes seemed more interested than debugging code. In my office jobs since then I cut back procrastination even more. I tackled my to-do list; even if a task was boring or difficult I wasted no time mucking about. I was efficient and organised and I got work done.

Reading this book, I see there is an even better way to get work done. I was efficient but now I am concentrating on being effective. Efficiency meant I did work quickly without wasting time. Effectiveness cuts out unproductive work, or work that doesn’t bring high enough yields. So less work is done – but it is done and gives results. And setting extreme deadlines helps focus the work.

This is not about watching less TV to make more time. It’s about using the time differently when you’re already working, by dropping the activities that are making you busy instead of bringing you closer to your goals.

Instead of planning, writing to-do lists, “researching” on the web I get stuck in and start doing the work that will give me the biggest targeted results. This week I am experimenting with incredibly short deadlines (15-30 minutes) to get work done that clearly takes me closer to my goal. It feels good to have something concrete finished.

Here are my favourite tips that you can apply today, totally oversimplified. I do recommend reading the book for background, more details and plans.

Pick one and just try it.

  1. In every task you do, consider if it will sling you like a rocket towards your goals, or just nudge you. Drop the stuff that nudges.
  2. Apologise later rather than ask permission. If what you’re considering doing is fixable, give it a try.
  3. Set incredibly short time limits and force yourself to get it done. If you make it, great. If you finish early, fantastic! If you only get halfway there or take twice as long, you still got work done.

*Affiliate link

Email

Live the lottery lifestyle

Posted on by

I’ve been daydreaming about winning the big lotto. What would I do with 30 million, 50 million, more? I even bought a ticket just in case. It didn’t win but it got me thinking about what I would do if I had won.

What is win the lottery lifestyle?

Living a win-the-lottery-lifestyle means living a similar life to what you would if you won the lottery. Obviously there will be some differences when it comes to money. You wouldn’t give up your job or buy a new 50 foot boat.

The key question becomes: what comes after the luxury cruise and diamond jewellery? After you finish your year long vacation and travel the world? After you do all the things money can buy, what would you do all day long?

The answer is something you cannot buy.

The answer ties into your life vision. What you would do after the money is something you can start now. If you want to become fluent in Portugese, you don’t need to move to Portugal. Borrow a CD from the library. Befriend your Portugese coworker. Take one evening a month to visit your local Portugese/English language group.

The projects I do now in my spare time I would not stop if I won the lottery. If I won millions my life would certainly change. But I am already enjoying my life without buying the lotto ticket.

Think long and hard about what you would do after the money stuff.

Then start doing it. Or a variation of it.

Wouldn’t it be something to win the jackpot and tell the reporters, “Oh, I’ve already been living such a great life, this is just a bonus.”

Good luck and share your thoughts below!

Email

The exception rule

Posted on by

There can be an exception to every rule (Carefully avoiding the paradox)

The rules of the game

In every program there are rules. There are rules in regimes of exercise, mindful living, positive thinking, minimising, cleaning your house… Someone has crafted the rules. The rules may be scientifically determined, proven anecdotally or just plucked out of thin air. You can find rules in books, clubs, websites and you can make them up yourself.

In the self-improvement section of any bookstore you will see the myriad of “solutions” – which means there is no ONE way. Humans are not ultra rigid. There must be room for bending, for a gray area. As long as the general trend is towards your goal, it’s ok. This is not a license to go about life at random. And it’s not a win-all excuse. It’s simply the reality that we are not perfect.

Make it your own

As thoughtful adults we have the freedom to choose. Will I follow this program? To the letter? What can I change? What can be dropped? What works for me and my life right now? Any program should be flexible enough to bend and fit you and your lifestyle. If not, you’ll need to bend, which isn’t a sustainable solution. You can bend for a week or a month, but eventually you’ll need a break before you can go back to it.

For example, if you eat processed, fast food every day and want to become an organic vegan, take it one step at a time. Don’t take the program full on, full time. To make it permanent, flex the organic vegan lifestyle so you just eat one meal a week in the new way, or partially in the new way (maybe just organic, maybe just vegetarian). If the second week you don’t even eat one vegetarian meal, that’s an exception. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed and need to wait until Monday or New Year’s to start again. Make any exceptions you need to enhance your life.

The exception

The only exception to the exception rule is where you submit yourself to a set of rules. For example, you receive pay in return for following your employer’s demands. You reap the rights of citizenship by obeying a country’s laws. You follow the commandments of your religion for salvation. Still, it’s always your choice if you want to make an exception and take the consequences.

Fieldwork

This week, see where making an exception to the rule will work for you. Even if the rules say you have to follow every step, go ahead and try it another way. What benefits do you gain? What are you losing and is it worth it?

Email

The best excuse

Posted on by

I have posted about priorities, motivation and common obstacles for getting started on a life of stylish minimalism. Today I want to address excuses. In short, there is no valid excuse. I believe excuses are a commonly accepted way to claim the desire to change but to not.

But why would someone make the claim? Why do we say, “I really should go swimming” or “I want to finish that photo project” and then follow up with excuses why we haven’t?

I think the answer is usually something along the lines of what other people think. What they expect. Who we think we should be. I have a real problem with living life like this — because it’s NOT LIVING your life. Decide who you want to be, and make no apologies for it. Nobody can argue what you want. And I’m not talking hedonism here. Working on the big picture priorities (your life vision) is not always fun. But turning down other peoples’ priorities is going to happen a lot.

If something is a priority, it’s important. When you know something is important – really important – you don’t make excuses. Instead of saying “I can’t” you ask “How could I get this done?” and start making changes to get yourself there.

If you “really should go swimming” but obstacles come up (and you’re making excuses) I urge you to check if this is really a priority if your life. Once you know it IS a priority, check out this post on how to get and keep yourself motivated.

If you still can’t get started, what’s stopping you?

So what’s the best excuse?

And if you scrolled down here without reading the above, I applaud you for trusting your judgement on what’s important and spending your time accordingly. Hooray!

The best excuse (even though I hate calling it that, it’s more of a reason) is: “That doesn’t fit with the vision I have for my life so I’ve decided against it.”

I’d like to close with an example from my own life. A few years back I started learning how to play the clarinet. I enjoyed it and made great progress in only half a year. When I devoted a lot of daily time elsewhere (4 hours daily commuting plus 3 hours a week studying) I didn’t have time to practice. Music is a priority to me, bringing me peace and joy. So I eliminated everything else less important but still couldn’t make enough time. I made the sad decision to stop playing clarinet. I hoped to take it up again once I moved and finished studying but then I had some children, and they take up even more of my time.

I was realistic enough to realise I will not have time to learn in the forseeable future so I sold the instrument. When someone asked me (taunted me?) if I was still playing, my answer was a guilt-free “No, I don’t have the time.” Without going into my reasons/excuses why I don’t have the time. It effectively ended that topic of conversation. I can’t tell you if the person asking was disappointed to miss out on the “yes, but”  game… but I can tell you I felt and still feel at peace.

If, for whatever reason, you aren’t doing something… that’s fine. Let it go. Don’t make excuses and don’t beat yourself up. I believe in hard work, building your life towards fulfilling your life vision. But if something does not fit into your plan, let it be.

Email

Your true priorities

Posted on by

If you’re not doing it, you don’t want to (enough)

How many times do you hear “I really want to do X?” This gets said and thought all too often. If someone really wants to do something, they will find a way. Ideally, our priorities and actions are in alignment so anyone can look at what we do and see what’s important to us.

Let me start with the simplest step.

If you find yourself saying “I really should …” please take a moment to ask yourself if you actually want to. If not, STOP SAYING YOU SHOULD. Saying it only reminds you of something you will likely never do, dragging you down and making you feel bad about yourself. Toss that thought.

On the other hand, if you do want to do it and this is important to you, now is the time.

Where is the time?

It’s not always possible to find the time; you have to make an effort to get it. For example, I wanted to have an emergency plan and kit in place because my family’s safety and health are a high priority to me. So I stopped writing this blog to make the time. And when that project was complete it was difficult to come back to writing. But since posting here is important to me, I’m making the time instead of lazing around reading novels or surfing the web.

In real life.

The steps are simple in theory but we all know how hard it is to change. Start with one concrete action at a time. They’ll start adding up. Even a little effort brings you closer to your goals.

FIRST: Make a list of what you truly want.

There are no “maybe”s on this list. Daydream about the life you would like. What activities are you doing? Who’s there? If you lost your faculties (sight, limbs, hearing) which would be the most devastating? If you could do only two activities in your free time, what would they be?

NEXT: Stop doing what’s not on the list.

Don’t replace the activity with something else yet, just stop doing things that aren’t on your list. You’re not wasting your time any more than if you were spending it on something you don’t love doing. If you’re doing anything that’s unimportant to you, please stop wasting your precious life minutes on it.

Pick one thing right now that you can stop doing for the next seven days. Let go.

Here are some ideas: turn on the TV/computer 30 minutes later than usual; let go of the unfinished craft project that’s been sitting there half a year; uncommit yourself from the book club that you aren’t enjoying; cut out your gym time that you drag yourself to every other day.

FINALLY: Do what’s on the list. If you’re lucky, you’ve been doing it already, and have given yourself real free time by minimising your activities. I hope you’ll have free time. I hope you’ll have more money. I hope you’ll see life beginning to open up.

Update: Sometimes there are things we should do, for the benefit of ourselves or our loved ones. In this case, we do want to do it, but for the long term reasons instead of the activity itself. So the above still applies… we just need to suck it up and do it anyway. We can look for something positive about the experience and know we’re doing our best.

Email

What are you waiting for

Posted on by

The work required

If you think stylish minimalism is for you, there are plenty of action steps already covered in previous posts. If you’ve been working through them, that’s great! Please post your comments about how your life is changing. If you haven’t quite started yet, this post is for you.

As much as we love silver bullets, the journey of minimalism involves work. Just reading this blog won’t change your life. It takes time and effort to go forward. It’s easy to come up with reasons why we can’t start. But all these reasons are just excuses. It’s time to move past the excuses.

What are you waiting for?

No matter the answer, there is always the same response: Do you really want to be a stylish minimalist? If your answer isn’t an enthusiastic YES! then I suggest spending your time on something you do really want instead of reading this blog.

Here are some common excuses and some suggestions on how to move past them.

I don’t have enough time.

  • Declutter your commitments. The next time someone asks you to do something, say no. You don’t have to make excuses. Your life is yours to dole out as you see fit.
  • Spend less or no time with technology. TV, internet, games, email, phones… they devour time. Turn it off and use the time to declutter for 15 minutes then enjoy that space for the next 15 minutes.
  • Rearrange your life. If you’re losing big chunks of time, you might need some drastic action. I was once commuting 4 hours a day. Moving closer to work gave me some time back.
  • Where are you spending your time? What can you live without doing? Minimise it!

I’m too tired.

  • Get more rest. Make the time (see above) but instead of more activity, go lie down in bed or sit outside.
  • Cut out any activities you don’t need to do. The ceiling lamps don’t need to be polished every week. I carry around my children less as they get heavier, saving me some energy.
  • Take a sabbatical. Take everything down to zero so your day consists of sleeping, eating, light exercising and resting. Even a weekend of rest can make a difference. Stay home and do the bare minimum.
  • Where are you spending your energy? What can you live without doing? Minimise it!

I don’t know where to start.

  • You can start anywhere. The important thing is to pick a place and get started. Jump in wherever you are.
  • Let go of your perfectionism. If we wait until we have enough time to do the job perfectly, it’ll never get done. Minimalism is a lifestyle, not a destination. Even a little effort will product some results. I try to keep the top of my bedroom dresser minimal, even when the rest of the house is in chaos.
  • What place catches your eye and drives you crazy? Minimise it!

My partner doesn’t want to be minimalist.

  • Be stylish yourself. Minimise your personal posessions and commitments. Accept that you can’t change others, only your own actions. Realise you’ll have to compromise on some things as part of being in a relationship.
  • Check your values. Talk with your partner about why you’re doing this. Discuss your similar values and how minimalism applies. For example, it’s important to my husband and I that we save money for travelling. Therefore we don’t use our resources on consuming more than we need.
  • What can you minimise that doesn’t affect your partner? Start there!

What else is holding you back? Leave a comment if you would like some suggestions on how to move forward.

Email

The always principle

Posted on by

Not just sometimes

If you’re going to become a swimmer, you don’t dip your toe in the pool, take weeks off, or spend most of your time practicing underwater handstands. You take lessons, get coaching and (most importantly) dive in and practice the strokes! You build up your stamina and perfect your technique each time you swim. The moment which you can say “I am a swimmer” is not when you decide to become a swimmer, but when you begin actually swimming. And you will maintain your swimmer status only if you continue to swim.

You can say the same thing about being a stylish minimalist. Doing a little decluttering here, a little wardrobe update there, does not a stylish minimalist  make. Take some lessons, get coaching and (again, most importantly) take the plunge and practice being a stylish minimalist! Consistently practicing will make you a stylish minimalist. Like swimming, it will become easier and you will hone your style.

Unlike swimming, location is unimportant for stylish minimalism. In fact, you can practice this lifestyle everywhere, in every area of life. Throughout your day, make decisions, do actions and think thoughts that line up with your definition of stylish minimalist. The more you practice, the more defined and personal your style will be.

This is called the always principle because a stylish minimalist is (or tries to be) stylish and minimalist always: all day, every day.

How to always be a stylish minimalist

Being stylish and minimalist all the time is a habit. Use the following techniques to get started.

  1. Get ready every morning. Make it part of your routine to set your style at the beginning of every day. Even on days off and when you don’t expect to see anyone, be your stylish self! If it takes too long to get ready, simplify your style.
  2. Plan your daily activities. Think about what you do regularly. How can you make these activities more stylish and minimalist? For example, plan your style for transportation and how you will be minimalist in the meals you eat.
  3. Declutter. When you have less things, you have less to always keep in your style. Use the time and energy you would have spent maintaining these things to customise your style and do things that take you closer to the stylish, minimalist life you want.
  4. Minimise your words. Use the time instead to prepare what you’ll say with your style. Practice a vocabulary and tone that is “you” every time you speak or write.
  5. Pare down your actions and commitments. You’ll have more energy to put into your unique style. The less you do, the easier it’ll be to be stylish, always.
  6. Use reminders to reset yourself. Set an alarm on your portable phone to go off each hour or tie a string around your finger. Remember why you’re doing this and what your final destination looks like.
  7. Get inspired. Talk to and read other minimalists to get ideas for your life. Socialise with similarly-minded people. Hire a coach for brainstorming and support. Finding your definition of stylish minimalist will make it easier for you to become stylish and minimalist.
Email

The easy way to be stylish

Posted on by

The disconnect between style and minimalism

Stylishness and minimalism don’t usually go hand in hand. A minimalist has few things and simple routines. A stylish person often has many things and complicated or time-consuming routines. There is a point somewhere between the two where the stylish minimalist lives. That point is different for everyone. Finding it is key to consistency.

The easiest style is natural

Using your nature will help you to pare down while keeping your unique style. Natural styles are attractive and they stand the test of time. They are easy to create and maintain on a regular basis. Because a natural style uses fewer resources than an unnatural one, it costs less and is easier on the environment. Most importantly, natural style is authentic. It showcases the real you.

I’m not talking about uncut hair and bare feet (unless that is your style). It’s about going with the flow rather than pushing against it. So instead of straightening and colouring your hair, let your curls out and skip the dye job. You’ll get a healthy shine and the colour will flatter your skin tone. If you enjoy hip hop dancing, quit the ballroom dancing course and spend your time doing the dance you love. If you live in the Arctic circle, trade your backyard palm trees for evergreens or move south if you can’t live without them.

How to find yours

Before you can have a more natural style, you need to know what that nature is. It comes back to knowing yourself – your personality, your preferences, your body. The fastest way to develop your natural style is to go with the activities, people and things you’re naturally drawn to. There will be less resistance to your improvement than if you force things in an unnatural and awkward direction.

If you find yourself using a lot of time, energy, money or products to get something done on a regular basis, it’s likely that you’re fighting your nature. If you are on autopilot in any area of your life, take a step back to analyse what’s actually useful and what you’re just doing out of habit. Here are some questions to get you thinking and using a more natural style. Apply this process to every area of your life for a consistent style. Remember to think about career, environment, finance, health, looks, personal growth, recreation, relationships.

  • What steps in your routines can you drop that won’t compromise your style?
  • What tools do you use?
  • What would happen if you stopped using them?
  • Can you become comfortable with the more natural result?
  • Is there an easier way to tweak that result to fit your real style?
  • Which result is more “you”?

Have fun!

Email

How to be motivated

Posted on by

The importance of good motivation

Motive is a reason to do something. If you have a good enough reason to do what you’re doing, excuses melt away. Think about someone who has survived a heart attack. After recovery, health is the priority and old temptations don’t have the same hold. When you know your motive for becoming a stylish minimalist, it’s easier to do the work and keep going when you’re making tough decisions.

There are different levels of motivation. “I want to look great” is a weak motive. It relies on others’ opinions, which will always fail because it’s impossible to get 100% approval from 100% of everyone.”I want to survive” is a strong motive that helps a recovering heart attack sufferer make healthy choices. There’s almost nothing more important than living. The stylish minimalist has a motive tied to deep needs.

Your motivation is what you need to thrive. Being a stylish minimalist may fulfill your need perfectly. Or it may be only part of the answer. Or it may not be what you’re looking for at all. Ask yourself what else you could do to meet this need. You might find a solution you never dreamed of that fits your life even better than stylish minimalism.

What motivates you

The answer is as individual as you are. Why are you reading this blog? Why do you want to be a stylish minimalist? That’s your motive. But don’t stop there. Go deeper to find the need that’s driving your desires. Then you’ll have a motive that trumps all excuses.

It can be tricky to ask objective questions then search for an honest answer. Take your time or get a trusted someone to help. Ask yourself: Why? What would that give me? What’s behind that? What do I want instead? Keep going until you find what you need to thrive. Here’s an example.

  • I want to be a stylish minimalist.
  • Why? I want a minimalist home and personal look.
  • Why? The clutter stresses me out but I don’t want to be blank.
  • What would a clutter-free environment give me? An easy life.
  • How so? I would have free time to relax in a clear environment.
  • What would that give me? Peace of mind.
  • What would it mean to have a clear environment that is not blank? Some style, some very “me” objects and activities.
  • What would that give me? Happiness. Joy.
  • I need peace and joy to thrive. They are my motives for being a stylish minimalist.

Minimalism brings me peace and expressing my style gives me joy.

Getting motivated

Hold on to your motive. Make it your mission. Take it into consideration when you make decisions. Throughout your day, consider if what you’re doing is consistent with your needs. When you are tired and uninspired, a good motive will get you moving.

Email