Author Archives: Tabatha

About Tabatha

My vision for myself and for the world is peace and joy. Everything I post will be to this end. Style and minimalism are a big part of my life within my vision. Minimalism brings me peace, and style brings joy. I post on topics covering environment, relationships, finance, personal growth, health, career and recreation.

6 ways to improve your self care

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“Put on your oxygen mask before assisting others.” — Airline safety announcement

Self care is not about being selfish, but ensuring we have plentiful reserves. So this is not a license to spoil or over-pamper or vacation every month. It is a quite necessary activity to fully recharge rather than fritz out completely. Caring for ourselves is not egotistic or vain. It only means ensuring that our needs are met.

It’s important because our reserves are finite, similar to a battery. Our energy is used up in our daily lives in dealing with work, children, dependents, commitments, house, possessions. If we don’t fully recharge there’s not enough energy to do it properly. Too soon, the battery needs to replaced.

The first step is to make it a priority. If it’s not a priority, it won’t stick. It’s difficult to make time in a busy life, but if self care is a high enough priority, it’ll be easier to drop something less important to make the time. Once we have the time here are six ways to take better self care.

  1. Be nourished. Poor nutrition deprives us of energy we could be getting from healthier food. Water makes all the body’s functions work better. Exercise strengthens the heart and bones, heals the blood and limbers the joints. Duration, type and intensity are individual.
  2. Be rested. We need long and uninterrupted and deep enough sleep that we are refreshed each day.
  3. Be loved and appreciated. We all need good connections and healthy relationships from which we can draw strength.
  4. Don’t be stressed. Stress damages health and appearance. It shortens lifespan and decreases life quality. Getting spirituality on track is part of this too.
  5. Receive value. We need to have something that makes us glad. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but spending time enjoying our passions revives.
  6. Give back. Ironically, giving back can refresh the spirit. Too much can be taxing so we all need to find the right balance.

If there is a gap in any of these areas, it’s time to take some care of yourself. I’ve spent two nights this week at the beach, just sitting and listening to the surf, letting my mind wander and my body relax. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

Need inspiration? Please comment below with your specific example.

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One less thing: Packed bags

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I only noticed it tonight… My evening consisted of hanging out with my kids and doing dishes, even though we had a major outing today. Why was it so simple?

The answer: I had automatically unpacked all my bags within 10 minutes of walking through the front door. I didn’t even register doing it (Ok, I admit I wasn’t being present!) but the chore had become an automatic “System Reset” routine.

I emptied the dirty dishes into the kitchen, kids clothes in the wash, hung up my wet swimsuit to dry, set aside receipts, put away my sweater and scarf, and hung up my bag in its place. The things to go upstairs, I put at the bottom of the stairs for my next trip.

It boils down to: Emptying your bags when you get home will bring peace and simplicity to your day. There will be no more rotting food or mouldy wet clothes, fewer lost papers, less “I can’t find it!” moments, and no headaches of digging through a bag for something you need RIGHT NOW.

Here’s your fieldwork: Immediately after entering your place of residence, empty your pockets, your bag, the kids’ stuff, your backpack, whatever. Put everything away (within reason, if you’re going out again, you know what I mean). It’ll only take a couple minutes, I promise. Do it every time and it’ll become a habit.

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How to live with less

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Living with less sounds appealing. Minimalist homes are easy to clean and move. A spacious calendar gives room to breathe. In general, living with less gives freedom to do anything we want, anywhere we like.

What holds us back from living with less is the worry about not being able to deal with a future situation. It’s often called the just-in-case syndrome. You might hear people say:

  • I should keep these bits of string and nearly-empty bottles of glue just in case something breaks.
  • I should keep all gifts and souvenirs I ever received just in case someone asks about something they gave me.
  • I need to keep all mementos of my loved ones just in case I feel guilty or forget them.
  • I need to keep spares just in case I run out.
  • I’ll keep something to wear for any occasion just in case I am invited some day.

Not everything will happen to you, so you don’t need to prepare for all eventualities. Learn to trust yourself to deal with situations. There’s more than one way to get your hands on something you need. And if you imagine an uncomfortable situation arising, work on developing yourself to deal with it.

To help decide whether to keep something consider the likelihood of needing it versus the importance of having it around if you need it.

  1. If it’s super important to have it but not likely that you’ll need it, keep it (Example: Disaster emergency planning)
  2. If it’s super important to have it and very likely you’ll need it, keep it (Example:food, laundry detergent, first aid kit)
  3. If it’s unimportant to have it even though you’ll probably need it, it’s okay to let it go. (Example: specific baking tools, extra shoelaces, spare computer monitor, clothes that don’t fit now)
  4. If it’s unimportant to have it and you probably will never need it, it’s also okay to let it go. (Example: highschool prom dress, books, car parts)

The likelihood of something happening and the important of being ready depend on your lifestyle. I don’t need to keep a sailing outfit in my closet because I rarely go boating. If I do go out, I use what I have or borrow.

So many things can be borrowed. If you’re in a big city you can probably get any book or DVD from your public library. There are also libraries of tools and sporting goods. And if not, maybe you could set one up in your community. There’s always knocking on your neighbour’s door to borrow a cup of sugar 🙂

What things are you reluctant to give up and how can you develop confidence to believe you can provide for yourself if the need arises?

For more reasons to keep things and reasons to not, please see this post on minimalistmum.

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Using a system reset for peace

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A system reset is really great because it gets you back to zero. Imagine coming into a brand new place to work. The surfaces are clear, things are in their place, the right tools and ingredients are available and you can begin your task immediately.

That’s what you get when you reset your system at the end of your work each time. And your work could be computer work, paperwork, cooking, exercising, making art, recording music, dancing, house repairs, writing, planning events… anything at all.

It is easier to do the system reset if you have uncluttered and cleaned recently, but it is still do-able if you haven’t. Each time you finish your work, reset the system and add five minutes for decluttering and extra cleaning and you’ll get there eventually.

The term “system reset” came into being on a tenting trip with two under-twos, where we stayed one or two nights in each place and traveled halfway across North America and back. 1) Every travel morning we cleaned and packed our gear. 2) Every travel arrival we set up completely. 3) After each meal (four meals a day) there was a system reset where we put food away, washed dishes, sterilised bottles, boiled water and did hygiene time. It would not have been so smooth a trip if we didn’t have everything ready for our children at any given moment!

So how does one do a “system reset” for peace?

  • Before you leave the office, clear off your desk surface. Put items in their homes and file any paperwork.
  • Empty your inbox at least once a day. Paper inbox and email inbox.
  • Wash dishes after each meal. Wipe down counters and the table. Your kitchen should be ready for you to start making the next meal.
  • Put away your tools, gear, equipment when you’re done. Sweep the floors and wipe dirty surfaces.
  • Wash clothes, swimsuits, towels, etc. once you have a washer full, or spot-clean an item so it’s ready to wear. Empty your lint trap or store clothes pegs away from the elements and insects.
  • Make the time to repair or replace the things you need to get your work done.
  • File papers. Scan them if you need to keep a copy. Shred or recycle the ones you don’t need.
  • Push furniture back to where it should be. Put away gadgets, appliances and utensils in their places.
  • If your supplies are running low, stock up so you don’t get stuck halfway through your work.
  • When you’re finished using the computer, close everything. Shut it down or let it sleep. If you want to save something to look at later… save it (email it to yourself if you need to) as opposed to letting it sit open waiting for your attention.
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9 ways to experience peace and joy

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Here are some facets of peace and joy. This is by no means a complete list so if you can add to it, please comment below. They’re easier said than done so I’ll add some links for more information. There’s no need to master all at once so pick one that calls to you and see how you can incorporate it into your life.

  1. Be in a calm environment. No alarms going off. No screaming neighbours. No infestations. And uncluttered room to work, play and rest.
  2. Have chores done. By keeping possessions to a minimum there is less to maintain and clean. Having a regular routine for cleaning also helps. You don’t need to be perfect to have the household mostly under control. Check out flylady for detailed how-to and regular encouraging emails.
  3. Have healthy relationships. Limit the time you spend with toxic people who just bring you down. Make room for the people who support you and love you. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Rom 12:18).
  4. Be healthy. Go for your annual physical. Eat well, exercise, get fresh air. Read up on ways to improve or eliminate your existing conditions.
  5. Get finances under control. Getting out of debt is a matter of putting cash on it instead of unnecessary stuff. Knowing where your money is and how the cash is flowing each month are the ways to keep your finances in check. It’s super unpeaceful to lie awake at night worrying.
  6. Enjoy beauty. It’s nice to enjoy nature with beautiful weather. Look at and cuddle with your loved ones and pets. Listen to great music and visit a museum. Whatever turns your key, focus your attention in the present, instead of thinking ahead, daydreaming or hanging on the past. Use your five senses to take it all in.
  7. Be prepared for an emergency. Get your emergency pack ready to go with food, water and other necessary items. Put your important papers in a fireproof, waterproof safe. Carry an emergency card with your family’s contact details and pin childrens’ inside their coats. Back up your computer files. Invest in health insurance.
  8. Enjoy memories. If a scent pulls you into my past, go with it. The more you are present, the more details you’ll be able to recall. Vivid experience makes for vivid memories.
  9. Daydream. Let your mad genius out of the box. Forget about planning and wonder… Could I live in Singapore for a year? Could I build my own movable home? Could I buy cheap acreage and live off the land? Explore a fantasy where anything is possible. You might not decide to go further with it, but some of the best ideas come from a crazy spark.

What else brings you peace and joy?

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Using procrastination to get things done

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Procrastination – we see it as a negative thing, our flawed willpower in (in)action. But it is possible to use procrastination to change our lives into what we want. When changing habits for the good, it’s best to go slowly. This is one more tool to use, so give it a try.

How do you do it? By procrastinating the exact opposite.

So instead of telling yourself you’ll stop watching TV tomorrow, say, “I’ll watch TV tomorrow,” then go do something else.

Instead of “I’ll work on it eight hours tomorrow,” today say, “Tomorrow I’m going to take a little break from it, because today I’m doing it for an hour.”

You can procrastinate again the next day. But even if you go back to what you were doing, you’ve had one more day of the life you want. Check the result of procrastinating again the following day.

For me, I procrastinate spending money. I tell myself to put it off for just one more day. Sometimes I buy it the next day, sometimes I never do. Even for things I need to get, I will procrastinate buying it to make a game out of pushing it from this month’s cash flow to the next.

What’s something you would like to change and how would you procrastinate it?

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Wanting the best for the world

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Three years ago I came to have a vision of peace and joy for the world. It took a few weeks of working with my coach until I distilled it down to the two most important words that sum it up for me: Peace and Joy. They’re the keys for my life and I want them for everyone.

Seventeen years ago was when my view of the world began to change. In one week I saw two movies that broke my heart and opened my eyes: The power of one and Schindler’s list. I learned about world horror and knew, at my core, I wanted the exact opposite for all people.

I know world peace is a lofty goal and I don’t think it’ll ever be possible. Human nature is imperfect so there will always be some people taking advantage of others, using any means. I would be happy enough for there to be a world without violent conflict.

Still, I struggle with the smallness of my contribution*. Right now, I write. I regularly blog about finding personal peace and joy. Talk doesn’t accomplish anything on its own so on every post I attempt to offer questions for readers to ponder and specific steps to take for improvements, in addition to chronicling my journey.

Helping others brings a personal peace. So here is your homework assignment, for you to help others. Take your time answering these questions. Take half an hour each (or more) if needed, to really answer it with the innermost you.

  • What is important to you? What delights you? The answer may include activities, people, things or places. What is it you really like about that?
  • What do you want for the world? If you could change the world for people, what would you do? What legacy do you want to leave?
  • What is the best thing that you want for yourself? Do you want the same for your fellow humans?
  • How can you work for it in your life as well as the lives of others?
  • What does your ideal life look like?
  • Imagine you’re at the end of your life and someone is writing a book or a screenplay about you. How do you want that story to go?
  • When you daydream, what parts do you want in your real life?
  • What are the words you want to live by? What are your deep desires and values?
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*My time/money/energy are spent on my immediate family. Supporting husband and children for their peace and joy is utterly important to me.

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Four nights away

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Yesterday I arrived home after a four-night break abroad. Here are my insights from the trip and how you can vacation more minimally too. I went to a European capital but if you’re going to the middle-of-nowhere outback, please pack sensibly.

  1. Furoshiki: thumbs up. I used my scarf as a light blanket on the cold flight. As a cape to cover my shoulders in the sun. I soaked it in water and wore it as a scarf for coolness. I tied it as a shoulder/shopping bag for water bottles in the museums where backpacks aren’t allowed. One piece of fabric (that goes with all my outfits) – major stylish usefulness quota. It’s easier for men in Europe, where it is totally acceptable, than in North America. Learn a few basic knots and find a square of fabric that suits you. Use it as a belt if you don’t like to wear a scarf, or tie it around your hat while not in use.
  2. A small, convertible day bag: thumbs up*. I use my Jupiter Freedom bag as an arm-band wallet around town. On this trip my arms were bare and the pickpockets were many so I converted it to a gorgeous belt pack instantly. On a night out I removed the ties and had a stylish clutch bag. No switching bags. No heavy backpacks. I carried a map, ID, money, hotel card, space pen refill and lipbalm. One bag – major stylish usefulness. Decide on the absolute minimum you need to carry. There are no what-ifs here (no bandages, hand lotion, hair brush, books, notepads, mp3 players, etc). Find a small hands-free bag with maximum conversion options. Do bring hand sanitiser if the hygiene options are limited.
  3. Thumbs up for packing light. One small** tote and a monk satchel. I had no worries about luggage carts, waiting for (or losing) suitcases, maneuvering stairs or escalators, or lugging armloads around busy and seedy streets. Read onebag.com for how to.
  4. Being present is great. I think I took in my first opera as much as I possibly could have: orchestra, sets, lighting, singing, atmosphere. It was amazing. I missed my children back home but concentrated on the sites I was seeing and my sweetheart. As a result, four nights away seemed like ten. It was short but completely refreshing and relaxing, and the time seemed to go on and on. I would need books to cover everything, but the gist is: focus your mind on what’s going on right now. Use your senses to take in everything. It takes practice to be present for longer periods of time, but it’s worth it because you’ll feel much more alive.
  5. We usually need less than we think. I still brought too much! A little research would’ve revealed my day outfit was perfectly suitable for the night out (one less outfit + shoes). I brought two little bottles of sunscreen but that stuff is available on every corner pharmacy (one less bottle). The most suitable top I had would’ve lasted with a wash each night, and I wore it more than I planned (three less tops). I poured a little hair gel into a tiny ziploc but it was still too much (less cosmetics). I brought a small bag of almonds but didn’t eat any. A handful would have sufficed (less snacks). If you’re vacationing in an urban setting, odds are you can find anything you’ll need. Avoid the just-in-case syndrome and go lighter!

What are your travel adventures and how do you plan to make it better next time?

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*My husband carried a backpack for his camera so we put a water bottle and two plastic spoons in the side pocket. That’s all we took on our daily outings. If he hadn’t taken the camera I would carry my own water bottle and spoon.

**Size: 44 x 31 x 23.5 cm / 17.3 x 12.2 x 7.5/9.3 inches, Capacity : 23 L / 1,403 inch³

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One more thing

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I’ll bet you’re wondering if I got the title wrong… usually minimalists write about one less thing. But this week I added something to my possessions: A coffee maker.

For the last seven years I have resisted buying one. I have tried all the instant coffee brands, going without, buying at work, filtering with a piece of cotton and a funnel, and using a travel cup with a plunger. None gave satisfaction.

Therefore I bought myself a double-walled, stainless steel, 8-cup french press. It makes gorgeous coffee. I’m unlikely to break it with my clumsiness or world travels. I can take it camping. I’m very happy with my purchase.

Does this signal the end of stylish minimalism? Not at all. Is the joy of freshly brewed coffee at home worth owning another possession for me? Yep.

Minimalism is a means, not an end. Clearing out the excess leaves a huge amount of space for the good stuff, the living we really want to do. Sometimes that means buying a coffee maker. Hardcore minimalists might drink their coffee with the grounds still in the cup but what’s the point of that if you choke on every sip?

What this means for seekers of peace and joy

The point is to not stress out about getting rid of everything you own or do, and to not be afraid to add new things. If learning how to paint was always your unrealised passion, go ahead and buy the paints and brushes… and still call yourself a minimalist! Mind you, this isn’t an excuse to go shopping or buy on a whim. If you’re not sure you really want it, don’t get it. And if you decide to go for it, do your research! Don’t be afraid to take your time… took me seven years for a coffee maker.

Declutter what makes sense for you. And if something makes you smile every time you use or look at it or participate in it, declutter around it to give it the room it deserves. Clear your schedule to make the time. I made room in my cupboard for my new coffee maker, so it’s not clutter on my kitchen counters.

What do you want to showcase in your life? What’s getting in the way? Is there something you’ve been wishing to add in?

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How you spend your money is how you vote on what exists in the world

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When we think about spending money, budgets often come to mind. Budgets to keep our peaceful sanity. We think of buying things of high quality to get the most joy for our buck. Also, minimalism helps to keep the clutter down, and to stop spending on things we don’t need. But what about the things we do spend on… how can we get better at voting for what we want to exist in the world? Here are three great steps to get you thinking and voting with your money.

  1. What bugs you about the world? What things do you wish were made better, done more efficiently or produced ethically?

    For example: I don’t like super cheap department stores. You know the ones that smell like rubber, even the clothing section? The clothes are cheaply constructed and made of plastic fibres. They are super cheap and somewhat fashionable but aren’t durable or stylish. They are less comfortable than natural fabrics and often made in sweat shops abroad. It disturbs my peace of mind that such cheap products are made and supplied to me at a low cost.

  2. What are the effects of your money? When you spend on the poorly made items, the inefficient service or fair trade (but not audited) products, what is the impact? Who is affected and how? What else is involved?

    My example: The more clothing I bought from the cheap department store, the more profit it made. The real cost came at the expense of the environment which was mined for petroleum to produce synthetic fabrics, the people (possibly children) who sewed the garments at ultra low wages, the environmental impact and waste of overseas transportation, my higher closet turnover rate and wardrobe dissatisfaction, and the landfill where the clothes ended up.

  3. Consider where you can spend differently and do that. Educate (don’t lecture) others about it and encourage (not judging or chastising) them to do the same.

    To continue: If I’m in a shop smelling of rubber I get out into fresh air ASAP. I read the labels on the clothes I buy and aim for 100% natural material. I read the labels to see where the clothes were made, if only to become more aware. I make my own and do with less. I shop at and donate to second hand shops. When I get comments on my clothes I share my philosophy, going only as deep as it feels natural for that conversation.

Where are you spending money that you want to change? What are the far-reaching effects of your voting?

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