How is your resolution after the first few weeks? I realise it’s a bit late, and that every other blogger has something to say about resolutions… but here’s my take for peace and joy.

The key to keeping a resolution is to continually restart it. We aren’t perfect so instead of “I had a piece of cake, might as well start the diet next week”, eat the cake (if you absolutely cannot say no) and begin the diet immediately after the last bite. No second helpings, either. Remind yourself why you’ve made this resolution.

Restart your resolution every 15 minutes if you need to, until it becomes your new way of living. I once set my mobile phone to chime every 30 minutes, reminding me to be present. Drove the family crazy but did the trick. That was four years ago and I still have the habit.

I think this is what many bloggers are talking about when they recommend against resolutions and aim to convince of the wisdom of tiny habit-setting. And certainly it is wise, seeing how humans are, well, human. We’re not digital so why do we think we can flip a switch come the first of every year? That’s due to another human characteristic… impatience. We want it and we want it now. So the real resolution ought to be: being okay with the slow changes and being determined and persistent enough to push through the hard times. To convince ourselves we want that result more than the easiness of our old ways.

So pick one thing you can resolve to change and stick to it over the course of the next year. Mine is to have great health, which has been my not-really-new-year resolution for the last 14 months. My daily habits for health are not perfect but are gradually becoming closer to what I want them to be.

What is your resolution for this year, and are you ready to re-declare it through the rest of 2012 and the rest of your life?

Initially this blog was called stylish minimalist. I renamed it because style and minimalism take a back seat to peace and joy. I adhere to my style and I’m a minimalist but the bigger concerns of life occupy my resources, and I would gladly forfeit style for joy and give up minimalism for peace.

What this translates into is spending only a percent of what I did before on how I look and how I arrange my house. And using that time, money and energy to bring some peace and some joy to the lives of myself and others.

Your takeaway is a challenge: to focus on your life’s mission and to lessen how much of yourself you dole out to other pursuits.

So if your vision is for a world where every child has a great education, spend your weekend tutoring rather than redecorating your kitchen. If you want great health for senior citizens, donate a fifth of your paycheque to medical research rather than spending it on entertainment. If you want your children to be happier, unplug the TV, wake up early and spend the day with them.

It’s a version of “put your money where your mouth is,” only it also includes your time and energy. It can be as radical as downsizing your house or as simple as donating a few hours to charity.

What can you do now to make an impact towards your goals?

“You must do it this way”

Might be a quote from your boss. Your partner. Parent. A friend. Whoever. This comment is going to grate.

It is so hard to take constructive criticism. It feels like a demand, even sounds like one. But as seekers of peace and joy we must not discard information based on our emotional reaction. Otherwise we miss out on a potential goldmine of information.

We need to cool down and reflect: what of this criticism is useful to me? What came from their heart? What will improve my (or my loved one’s) life? And the scariest question: Are they right?

It’s not comfortable but it’s important to take on all advice that comes our way. We need to sift through each piece of wisdom (or un-wisdom, as the case may be) and take what will work, then make it a part of our lives.

The reason this is one of the most difficult things to do, is because who we are, at our cores, who we were raised as, is something we struggle to set aside. Parents, teachers, leaders, relatives and mentors have given us their best and it’s natural to feel that it’s the best. Ever.

Even if it’s not the best one, our culture is so deeply enrooted in our egos that it is almost physically painful to lay it down and admit that it is not the ultimate and best for everyone on the planet.

But if we truly want to improve ourselves, it’s necessary to open our minds and consider how there are better ways. Better ways to live, act, think, wonder and be. Use your vision to determine if a morsel of advice will improve you. In this way, we can look outside our world and learn how to see infinite possibilities.

If you strive to be the best you can, you must take all input and apply the best of it. That’s a constructive suggestion 😉

Here are some facets of peace and joy. This is by no means a complete list so if you can add to it, please comment below. They’re easier said than done so I’ll add some links for more information. There’s no need to master all at once so pick one that calls to you and see how you can incorporate it into your life.

1. Be in a calm environment. No alarms going off. No screaming neighbours. No infestations. And uncluttered room to work, play and rest.
2. Have chores done. By keeping possessions to a minimum there is less to maintain and clean. Having a regular routine for cleaning also helps. You don’t need to be perfect to have the household mostly under control. Check out flylady for detailed how-to and regular encouraging emails.
3. Have healthy relationships. Limit the time you spend with toxic people who just bring you down. Make room for the people who support you and love you. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Rom 12:18).
4. Be healthy. Go for your annual physical. Eat well, exercise, get fresh air. Read up on ways to improve or eliminate your existing conditions.
5. Get finances under control. Getting out of debt is a matter of putting cash on it instead of unnecessary stuff. Knowing where your money is and how the cash is flowing each month are the ways to keep your finances in check. It’s super unpeaceful to lie awake at night worrying.
6. Enjoy beauty. It’s nice to enjoy nature with beautiful weather. Look at and cuddle with your loved ones and pets. Listen to great music and visit a museum. Whatever turns your key, focus your attention in the present, instead of thinking ahead, daydreaming or hanging on the past. Use your five senses to take it all in.
7. Be prepared for an emergency. Get your emergency pack ready to go with food, water and other necessary items. Put your important papers in a fireproof, waterproof safe. Carry an emergency card with your family’s contact details and pin childrens’ inside their coats. Back up your computer files. Invest in health insurance.
8. Enjoy memories. If a scent pulls you into my past, go with it. The more you are present, the more details you’ll be able to recall. Vivid experience makes for vivid memories.
9. Daydream. Let your mad genius out of the box. Forget about planning and wonder… Could I live in Singapore for a year? Could I build my own movable home? Could I buy cheap acreage and live off the land? Explore a fantasy where anything is possible. You might not decide to go further with it, but some of the best ideas come from a crazy spark.

What else brings you peace and joy?

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Three years ago I came to have a vision of peace and joy for the world. It took a few weeks of working with my coach until I distilled it down to the two most important words that sum it up for me: Peace and Joy. They’re the keys for my life and I want them for everyone.

Seventeen years ago was when my view of the world began to change. In one week I saw two movies that broke my heart and opened my eyes: The power of one and Schindler’s list. I learned about world horror and knew, at my core, I wanted the exact opposite for all people.

I know world peace is a lofty goal and I don’t think it’ll ever be possible. Human nature is imperfect so there will always be some people taking advantage of others, using any means. I would be happy enough for there to be a world without violent conflict.

Still, I struggle with the smallness of my contribution*. Right now, I write. I regularly blog about finding personal peace and joy. Talk doesn’t accomplish anything on its own so on every post I attempt to offer questions for readers to ponder and specific steps to take for improvements, in addition to chronicling my journey.

Helping others brings a personal peace. So here is your homework assignment, for you to help others. Take your time answering these questions. Take half an hour each (or more) if needed, to really answer it with the innermost you.

• What is important to you? What delights you? The answer may include activities, people, things or places. What is it you really like about that?
• What do you want for the world? If you could change the world for people, what would you do? What legacy do you want to leave?
• What is the best thing that you want for yourself? Do you want the same for your fellow humans?
• How can you work for it in your life as well as the lives of others?
• What does your ideal life look like?
• Imagine you’re at the end of your life and someone is writing a book or a screenplay about you. How do you want that story to go?
• When you daydream, what parts do you want in your real life?
• What are the words you want to live by? What are your deep desires and values?

*My time/money/energy are spent on my immediate family. Supporting husband and children for their peace and joy is utterly important to me.